When you're hosting a party for men and women, it's likely to be a different sort of celebration than a traditional girls-only baby shower. As with any party, be sure to keep your guests in mind as you choose everything from invitations to food and activities. These simple guidelines can help you plan a successful coed party:
Be creativeI'm an unconventional kind of girl, so we had an unconventional party! We had the party at a pizza joint, and we made sure all the men knew that the football games and hockey games would be on, and [there would be] beer and pizza. As for games, I went out and bought a ton of onesies in various sizes and some fabric paint, and everyone got to paint a onesie. We also had each person write down one naughty thing they did growing up as a child. When it was time to open presents, I had to read one and guess whose story it was in between opening gifts. Since we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, it was fun to see these stories and think of all the craziness my child could get into growing up!
— cdockabuhl
I helped host a coed shower with a tropical theme. We had it outdoors, complete with punch, tropical invitations (so the men wouldn't be scared away), and reggae/Jimmy Buffett music. People mingled and had an opportunity to talk to the guest of honor.
— Cindy
A friend of mine arranged a barbecue baby shower at her home and invited a bunch of our friends and their significant others. We didn't play any games. Instead, we caught up on old times and listened to advice and stories from our friends, most of whom already had babies. Unlike a traditional "girls-only" event, it was more like a fun, casual get together with our close friends. We have many male friends who wanted to wish us well and would have been excluded from a traditional shower.
— Michelle
My partner's friends threw us a shower, but it was more of a brunch party for both the girls and the guys. We even had a couple of kids along, including a pair of 6-month-old twins. They were a hit! I think having the kids, and especially babies, around just made it that much more about children, which was great. Let the guys in.
— Brian
Let the boys have funIt's amazing how much fun the men bring to this type of event. At our shower, when a gift such as a toy was opened, the men would put it together, make some hysterical comments, and then play with it until the next interesting item was opened. My husband has been very involved in every step of our pregnancy. He's been at every doctor's appointment and has done just as much research on the right type of crib, play yard, stroller, and so on as I have. Instead of going out with the guys to play pool or watch the hockey game, he's been home with me reading Dr. Seuss to my belly and keeping his hand on my stomach so he can feel every kick the baby makes. So why shouldn't he be included in the baby shower, too?
— Mia
My boyfriend and I are expecting our first in May. He is very involved and interested in all things about the baby. Attending a shower/party is a fun and social way to get new dads comfortable with all things baby. It also gives "rookie" dads a chance to mingle and connect with "veteran" dads. Your baby's father might long for some support in this new arena, and I think having them be a part of this festivity is a healthy introduction!
— Thommybabymama
Having a coed shower allowed my husband to be a part of every aspect of our pregnancy. Mind you, he is the meat-eating, football-watching, big type of guy, but his heart melted just as quickly as mine did when we opened those tiny clothes and other gifts. We didn't play any silly games, but we did all enjoy each other's company, exchange pregnancy stories (men as well as women), eat lunch and cake, and share in the joy that only the coming of a baby can bring.
— Mary
Shower at the officeI was as surprised as anything when I walked into a conference room at work and there was my wife, 7 months pregnant, clapping and shouting congratulations. A few close friends at work decided to give me, a guy, a surprise baby shower. They contacted my wife by email and phone to plan it. They did a wonderful job – I had no suspicions whatsoever! I didn't realize how much these people thought of me. I now cherish their friendship more than ever. This one act has brought me closer to these friends than anything else in the world could have.
— Dan
The shower I planned wasn't "his and hers," it was just "his." Two guys at my office were going to become first-time fathers at around the same time. We decided to have a "book and music" shower for the dads-to-be. Everyone gave children's books and CDs to start off the babies' libraries.
— a dad
We decided to give the couple a taste of real "shower" ambiance, but in a small dose. We asked everybody to bring in a baby picture of themselves on the day of the lunch. I arranged the photos on a cardboard backing, brought them to the lunch, had everyone guess which picture belonged to which person, and gave a prize (a Star Trek-style toy gun that shoots foam disks) to the winner. I made corsages out of baby socks and silk flowers for the dads. I purposely made them very big and silly-looking, and we all enjoyed teasing the dads and making them wear the corsages through lunch (but not back at the office)! Everybody had a great time, and I think some of the guys were surprised at how much fun they had. The trick for us was to keep it simple and silly.
— Sheila
Get gifts for DadOn the shower invitations, we gave people the option of bringing a gag gift for the dad. They were so creative! We had a diaper-changing kit (which included a clothespin for his nose, rubber gloves, and goggles), World's Best Dad mugs, and 5 pounds of coffee to keep him awake and alert at 3 a.m.
— Stacy
Be nontraditionalWe had a 'his and hers' baby shower. It was already nontraditional as our son Paxton was almost 3 months old. He was still in the neonatal intensive care unit, so we held off on the shower until we knew when he was coming home.
— Brenda and Luke
Our situation is a little different as my partner and I are lesbians expecting our first baby. We had a shower for all our friends and our two families. My work threw us a shower and Liza's work also threw her one! It was very exciting that her work recognized her as an equal parent. So often husbands, nontraditional partners, and second-time moms get left out of the process. It's important to remember that even though they're not pregnant, they're still parents.
— Sarai
Let the guys in on the gamesOne of the cutest games I ever played at a couples shower was "Make a Baby." We each got small pieces of two different colors of Play-Doh and were told to make a baby. When the time was up, we all had to put our babies on a platter, and the expecting couple came back in the room to pick their favorite baby. Some of the babies were pretty hilarious.
— Fergus
As an icebreaker, we played a game where everyone had a sign pinned to their back with a name of a children's nursery rhyme character. Each person had to go around and ask for clues about who they were, so it really got people talking.
— Angela
The game the guys loved best was the Diaper Olympics. I had two infant-size dolls that needed a pretend diaper change. We divided the group in half and did a relay race. You had to take the baby, rush to the table, pull the diaper off, use a wipe, powder, and diaper again, and then take it to the next person in line. It was good practice for the guys – and boy, did they need it!
— Mary
Each of our guests wrote down a funny story about their childhood without signing it, and my husband and I had to guess who belonged to each story. Another game was the diapering game, where each couple was given a cloth diaper, two diaper pins, and a naked baby doll – and had to diaper the doll while holding hands. It really proved that parents have to work together to get some jobs done.
— Shellie
Putting a twist on a baby shower classic, while the dad and pregnant mom hugged, everyone guessed their combined girth using a length of toilet paper squares. But the real hit of the party was the room that we'd set up for painting. We had a card table supplied with bodysuits, booties, hats, T-shirts, cardboard, stencils, sponges, and paint. You wouldn't believe the creativity that was let loose. The men had as much fun with this as the women!
- Make sure other men will be there in addition to the expectant father.
- Make the invitations guy-friendly. Don't call it a Jack and Jill baby shower and go easy on the pink.
- Invite the couple to register for baby gifts at their favorite store.
- If you plan to hand out party favors, realize that most men don't find jellybeans in a baby bottle all that adorable.
- Games? Choose ones that the dad-to-be and his friends will enjoy. (For inspiration, see our readers' ideas below.)
- When it's time to open gifts, make sure the couple opens them together or takes turns.
- Bring on the food!
Be creativeI'm an unconventional kind of girl, so we had an unconventional party! We had the party at a pizza joint, and we made sure all the men knew that the football games and hockey games would be on, and [there would be] beer and pizza. As for games, I went out and bought a ton of onesies in various sizes and some fabric paint, and everyone got to paint a onesie. We also had each person write down one naughty thing they did growing up as a child. When it was time to open presents, I had to read one and guess whose story it was in between opening gifts. Since we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, it was fun to see these stories and think of all the craziness my child could get into growing up!
— cdockabuhl
I helped host a coed shower with a tropical theme. We had it outdoors, complete with punch, tropical invitations (so the men wouldn't be scared away), and reggae/Jimmy Buffett music. People mingled and had an opportunity to talk to the guest of honor.
— Cindy
A friend of mine arranged a barbecue baby shower at her home and invited a bunch of our friends and their significant others. We didn't play any games. Instead, we caught up on old times and listened to advice and stories from our friends, most of whom already had babies. Unlike a traditional "girls-only" event, it was more like a fun, casual get together with our close friends. We have many male friends who wanted to wish us well and would have been excluded from a traditional shower.
— Michelle
My partner's friends threw us a shower, but it was more of a brunch party for both the girls and the guys. We even had a couple of kids along, including a pair of 6-month-old twins. They were a hit! I think having the kids, and especially babies, around just made it that much more about children, which was great. Let the guys in.
— Brian
Let the boys have funIt's amazing how much fun the men bring to this type of event. At our shower, when a gift such as a toy was opened, the men would put it together, make some hysterical comments, and then play with it until the next interesting item was opened. My husband has been very involved in every step of our pregnancy. He's been at every doctor's appointment and has done just as much research on the right type of crib, play yard, stroller, and so on as I have. Instead of going out with the guys to play pool or watch the hockey game, he's been home with me reading Dr. Seuss to my belly and keeping his hand on my stomach so he can feel every kick the baby makes. So why shouldn't he be included in the baby shower, too?
— Mia
My boyfriend and I are expecting our first in May. He is very involved and interested in all things about the baby. Attending a shower/party is a fun and social way to get new dads comfortable with all things baby. It also gives "rookie" dads a chance to mingle and connect with "veteran" dads. Your baby's father might long for some support in this new arena, and I think having them be a part of this festivity is a healthy introduction!
— Thommybabymama
Having a coed shower allowed my husband to be a part of every aspect of our pregnancy. Mind you, he is the meat-eating, football-watching, big type of guy, but his heart melted just as quickly as mine did when we opened those tiny clothes and other gifts. We didn't play any silly games, but we did all enjoy each other's company, exchange pregnancy stories (men as well as women), eat lunch and cake, and share in the joy that only the coming of a baby can bring.
— Mary
Shower at the officeI was as surprised as anything when I walked into a conference room at work and there was my wife, 7 months pregnant, clapping and shouting congratulations. A few close friends at work decided to give me, a guy, a surprise baby shower. They contacted my wife by email and phone to plan it. They did a wonderful job – I had no suspicions whatsoever! I didn't realize how much these people thought of me. I now cherish their friendship more than ever. This one act has brought me closer to these friends than anything else in the world could have.
— Dan
The shower I planned wasn't "his and hers," it was just "his." Two guys at my office were going to become first-time fathers at around the same time. We decided to have a "book and music" shower for the dads-to-be. Everyone gave children's books and CDs to start off the babies' libraries.
— a dad
We decided to give the couple a taste of real "shower" ambiance, but in a small dose. We asked everybody to bring in a baby picture of themselves on the day of the lunch. I arranged the photos on a cardboard backing, brought them to the lunch, had everyone guess which picture belonged to which person, and gave a prize (a Star Trek-style toy gun that shoots foam disks) to the winner. I made corsages out of baby socks and silk flowers for the dads. I purposely made them very big and silly-looking, and we all enjoyed teasing the dads and making them wear the corsages through lunch (but not back at the office)! Everybody had a great time, and I think some of the guys were surprised at how much fun they had. The trick for us was to keep it simple and silly.
— Sheila
Get gifts for DadOn the shower invitations, we gave people the option of bringing a gag gift for the dad. They were so creative! We had a diaper-changing kit (which included a clothespin for his nose, rubber gloves, and goggles), World's Best Dad mugs, and 5 pounds of coffee to keep him awake and alert at 3 a.m.
— Stacy
Be nontraditionalWe had a 'his and hers' baby shower. It was already nontraditional as our son Paxton was almost 3 months old. He was still in the neonatal intensive care unit, so we held off on the shower until we knew when he was coming home.
— Brenda and Luke
Our situation is a little different as my partner and I are lesbians expecting our first baby. We had a shower for all our friends and our two families. My work threw us a shower and Liza's work also threw her one! It was very exciting that her work recognized her as an equal parent. So often husbands, nontraditional partners, and second-time moms get left out of the process. It's important to remember that even though they're not pregnant, they're still parents.
— Sarai
Let the guys in on the gamesOne of the cutest games I ever played at a couples shower was "Make a Baby." We each got small pieces of two different colors of Play-Doh and were told to make a baby. When the time was up, we all had to put our babies on a platter, and the expecting couple came back in the room to pick their favorite baby. Some of the babies were pretty hilarious.
— Fergus
As an icebreaker, we played a game where everyone had a sign pinned to their back with a name of a children's nursery rhyme character. Each person had to go around and ask for clues about who they were, so it really got people talking.
— Angela
The game the guys loved best was the Diaper Olympics. I had two infant-size dolls that needed a pretend diaper change. We divided the group in half and did a relay race. You had to take the baby, rush to the table, pull the diaper off, use a wipe, powder, and diaper again, and then take it to the next person in line. It was good practice for the guys – and boy, did they need it!
— Mary
Each of our guests wrote down a funny story about their childhood without signing it, and my husband and I had to guess who belonged to each story. Another game was the diapering game, where each couple was given a cloth diaper, two diaper pins, and a naked baby doll – and had to diaper the doll while holding hands. It really proved that parents have to work together to get some jobs done.
— Shellie
Putting a twist on a baby shower classic, while the dad and pregnant mom hugged, everyone guessed their combined girth using a length of toilet paper squares. But the real hit of the party was the room that we'd set up for painting. We had a card table supplied with bodysuits, booties, hats, T-shirts, cardboard, stencils, sponges, and paint. You wouldn't believe the creativity that was let loose. The men had as much fun with this as the women!