Who should throw the baby shower?
Anyone except the expectant couple — though Miss Manners might disagree. Formal etiquette says that someone who's not a relative must throw the shower to avoid having it look as though the family is asking for presents.
Our advice? Ignore traditional rules. Any relative, close friend, or close co-worker should feel perfectly okay about planning a baby shower.
When should the baby shower be held?Most baby showers happen before the baby is born. Any time after conception is fine, but a shower makes for a welcome diversion toward the end of pregnancy. Besides, it just doesn't seem real if the expectant mom isn't sporting a big belly.
When setting a date for the party, consult with the parents-to-be first. They may be able to warn you about scheduling conflicts. You may have to accommodate the schedules of grandparents, for example, even if they aren't the guests of honor. Nothing is worse than planning a party and sending out invitations (see below), only to find out that the most important people can't make it.
If you decide to schedule a shower for after the baby is born, that's fine, too. Then guests can bring gifts specific to the baby's sex. And with a baby as the centerpiece, you'll have a surefire icebreaker and conversation topic.

Who should be invited to the baby shower?
If you're hosting the shower, you may have some ideas about the guest list. It's best to consult with the guest or guests of honor before finalizing your list, though, to avoid leaving out someone important or inviting someone the mom (or dad) would rather not include.

What about hosting a shower for the expectant mom and dad?
Although many baby showers still follow the "for women only" tradition,baby showers for both women and men are growing in popularity. It all depends on what sort of gathering you're planning.
If the shower is for a second or subsequent baby (these babies deserve a celebration, too!), the guest list is usually made up of close friends and family and anyone else from the expectant parents' wider circle of friends.
Another party-planning consideration: Think long and hard before choosing to throw a surprise party. If your guest of honor doesn't like surprises, you may be putting her in an awkward position. Besides, if you let the future parents in on the arrangements, you can be confident that they'll be pleased with the outcome.

When you're hosting a party for men and women, it's likely to be a different sort of celebration than a traditional girls-only baby shower. As with any party, be sure to keep your guests in mind as you choose everything from invitations to food and activities. These simple guidelines can help you plan a successful coed party:

• Make sure other men will be there in addition to the expectant father.
• Make the invitations guy-friendly. Don't call it a Jack and Jill baby shower and go easy on the pink.
• Invite the couple to register for baby gifts at their favorite store.
• If you plan to hand out party favors, realize that most men don't find jellybeans in a baby bottle all that adorable.
• Games? Choose ones that the dad-to-be and his friends will enjoy. (For inspiration, see our readers' ideas below.)
• When it's time to open gifts, make sure the couple opens them together or takes turns.
• Bring on the food!

Ideas for a great coed showerHere are some great ideas for coed showers from people who've hosted one – or had one thrown for them:
Be creativeI'm an unconventional kind of girl, so we had an unconventional party! We had the party at a pizza joint, and we made sure all the men knew that the football games and hockey games would be on, and [there would be] beer and pizza. As for games, I went out and bought a ton of onesies in various sizes and some fabric paint, and everyone got to paint a onesie. We also had each person write down one naughty thing they did growing up as a child. When it was time to open presents, I had to read one and guess whose story it was in between opening gifts. Since we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, it was fun to see these stories and think of all the craziness my child could get into growing up!
— cdockabuhl
I helped host a coed shower with a tropical theme. We had it outdoors, complete with punch, tropical invitations (so the men wouldn't be scared away), and reggae/Jimmy Buffett music. People mingled and had an opportunity to talk to the guest of honor.
— Cindy
A friend of mine arranged a barbecue baby shower at her home and invited a bunch of our friends and their significant others. We didn't play any games. Instead, we caught up on old times and listened to advice and stories from our friends, most of whom already had babies. Unlike a traditional "girls-only" event, it was more like a fun, casual get together with our close friends. We have many male friends who wanted to wish us well and would have been excluded from a traditional shower.
— Michelle
My partner's friends threw us a shower, but it was more of a brunch party for both the girls and the guys. We even had a couple of kids along, including a pair of 6-month-old twins. They were a hit! I think having the kids, and especially babies, around just made it that much more about children, which was great. Let the guys in.
— Brian
Let the boys have funIt's amazing how much fun the men bring to this type of event. At our shower, when a gift such as a toy was opened, the men would put it together, make some hysterical comments, and then play with it until the next interesting item was opened. My husband has been very involved in every step of our pregnancy. He's been at every doctor's appointment and has done just as much research on the right type of crib, play yard, stroller, and so on as I have. Instead of going out with the guys to play pool or watch the hockey game, he's been home with me reading Dr. Seuss to my belly and keeping his hand on my stomach so he can feel every kick the baby makes. So why shouldn't he be included in the baby shower, too?
— Mia
My boyfriend and I are expecting our first in May. He is very involved and interested in all things about the baby. Attending a shower/party is a fun and social way to get new dads comfortable with all things baby. It also gives "rookie" dads a chance to mingle and connect with "veteran" dads. Your baby's father might long for some support in this new arena, and I think having them be a part of this festivity is a healthy introduction!
— Thommybabymama
Having a coed shower allowed my husband to be a part of every aspect of our pregnancy. Mind you, he is the meat-eating, football-watching, big type of guy, but his heart melted just as quickly as mine did when we opened those tiny clothes and other gifts. We didn't play any silly games, but we did all enjoy each other's company, exchange pregnancy stories (men as well as women), eat lunch and cake, and share in the joy that only the coming of a baby can bring.
— Mary
Shower at the officeI was as surprised as anything when I walked into a conference room at work and there was my wife, 7 months pregnant, clapping and shouting congratulations. A few close friends at work decided to give me, a guy, a surprise baby shower. They contacted my wife by email and phone to plan it. They did a wonderful job – I had no suspicions whatsoever! I didn't realize how much these people thought of me. I now cherish their friendship more than ever. This one act has brought me closer to these friends than anything else in the world could have.
— Dan
The shower I planned wasn't "his and hers," it was just "his." Two guys at my office were going to become first-time fathers at around the same time. We decided to have a "book and music" shower for the dads-to-be. Everyone gave children's books and CDs to start off the babies' libraries.
— a dad
We decided to give the couple a taste of real "shower" ambiance, but in a small dose. We asked everybody to bring in a baby picture of themselves on the day of the lunch. I arranged the photos on a cardboard backing, brought them to the lunch, had everyone guess which picture belonged to which person, and gave a prize (a Star Trek-style toy gun that shoots foam disks) to the winner. I made corsages out of baby socks and silk flowers for the dads. I purposely made them very big and silly-looking, and we all enjoyed teasing the dads and making them wear the corsages through lunch (but not back at the office)! Everybody had a great time, and I think some of the guys were surprised at how much fun they had. The trick for us was to keep it simple and silly.
— Sheila
Get gifts for DadOn the shower invitations, we gave people the option of bringing a gag gift for the dad. They were so creative! We had a diaper-changing kit (which included a clothespin for his nose, rubber gloves, and goggles), World's Best Dad mugs, and 5 pounds of coffee to keep him awake and alert at 3 a.m.
— Stacy
Be nontraditionalWe had a 'his and hers' baby shower. It was already nontraditional as our son Paxton was almost 3 months old. He was still in the neonatal intensive care unit, so we held off on the shower until we knew when he was coming home.
— Brenda and Luke
Our situation is a little different as my partner and I are lesbians expecting our first baby. We had a shower for all our friends and our two families. My work threw us a shower and Liza's work also threw her one! It was very exciting that her work recognized her as an equal parent. So often husbands, nontraditional partners, and second-time moms get left out of the process. It's important to remember that even though they're not pregnant, they're still parents.
— Sarai
Let the guys in on the gamesOne of the cutest games I ever played at a couples shower was "Make a Baby." We each got small pieces of two different colors of Play-Doh and were told to make a baby. When the time was up, we all had to put our babies on a platter, and the expecting couple came back in the room to pick their favorite baby. Some of the babies were pretty hilarious.
— Fergus
As an icebreaker, we played a game where everyone had a sign pinned to their back with a name of a children's nursery rhyme character. Each person had to go around and ask for clues about who they were, so it really got people talking.
— Angela
The game the guys loved best was the Diaper Olympics. I had two infant-size dolls that needed a pretend diaper change. We divided the group in half and did a relay race. You had to take the baby, rush to the table, pull the diaper off, use a wipe, powder, and diaper again, and then take it to the next person in line. It was good practice for the guys – and boy, did they need it!
— Mary
Each of our guests wrote down a funny story about their childhood without signing it, and my husband and I had to guess who belonged to each story. Another game was the diapering game, where each couple was given a cloth diaper, two diaper pins, and a naked baby doll – and had to diaper the doll while holding hands. It really proved that parents have to work together to get some jobs done.
— Shellie
Putting a twist on a baby shower classic, while the dad and pregnant mom hugged, everyone guessed their combined girth using a length of toilet paper squares. But the real hit of the party was the room that we'd set up for painting. We had a card table supplied with bodysuits, booties, hats, T-shirts, cardboard, stencils, sponges, and paint. You wouldn't believe the creativity that was let loose. The men had as much fun with this as the women!

That depends on when the party is being held and whether it has atheme. The easiest way to serve food at a shower is to set up a buffet or a bunch of small plates and bowls of appetizers, vegetables and dip, or cookies and sweets around the room in which the shower's being held. 
Serving finger foods lets guests nibble and try different things throughout the party and may encourage them to mingle: Put the chips on one side of the room and the cherry tomatoes on another and people will be circulating before you know it. The more complicated and expensive option of a sit-down meal can be very nice if you've got the time and money.

What you serve can range from celery sticks and mini-quiches to dishes of M&Ms and chocolate truffles. Snacks and vegetables often work best in the afternoon; desserts are great for evening parties. Everyone has a crowd-pleasing, easy-to-make favorite — we want to hear yours! Add your suggestions in the comment box at the bottom of the page; we may feature your ideas on the site in a future article.
What about drinks?

Serve one of our fun and fabulous (and delicious) virgin drinks in solidarity with the guest of honor, or offer a variety of simpler non-alcoholic beverages — water, juice, punch, iced tea, lemonade, or even milk (served in baby bottles with enlarged holes, perhaps?).

Of course, it's also fine to put alcoholic drinks on your menu — anything from margaritas to white wine — if the mom-to-be doesn't mind and if alcohol makes sense considering the time and / or theme of the party. Just make sure to have something non-alcoholic on hand for your guest of honor.

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I love baby showers. And I love shopping for them even more. Moms-to-be are gifted so many unnecessary whosits and whatsits at their showers that picking out a gift they'll actually like becomes an exciting challenge. Are you up for the task? If you're not now, you certainly will be after reading this. I've put together a few ideas for some baby shower gifts you absolutely can't go wrong with. Happy shopping!
Snap Suits aka Onesies
Every mom I know says you can't have enough of these from sizes newborn through 24 months. Many shower guests might head straight for the newborn goodies alone, but I have a friend who had a 10 pound baby and couldn't even use all of the cute newborn clothes she'd gotten at her shower. Infants grow fast and having these on hand in multiple sizes will make life a lot easier for mom and baby in the coming months.
Children's Books
I always give my new mom friends a copy of The Giving Tree because it was one of my favorite books as a child. Yes, I was pretty emo. If you haven't read it in a while I guarantee you'll get teary eyed by the end. New moms will need lots of material from books about colors and shapes to ones by Dr. Seuss and Maurice Sendak. A shower where everyone gives their favorite childhood book could be the perfect thing.
Diapers
Boring! I know. But, with approximately eight-12 changes per day, this is pretty much the best gift ever. Find out what type of diapering she wants to do whether it's disposable, cloth, or hybrid and chip in for a whole boatload in a variety of sizes. Diapers, no matter what kind, can get expensive quickly so you'll really be doing them a favor.
Meal Plan
A friend suggested this to me and I think it's genius! Many people's idea of helping the new mom after the baby arrives is bringing food. But it can be disastrous and frustrating to coordinate visits and food drops. There are quite a few websites that make it super easy to help loved ones get this organized. Remember that new parents are frazzled for months after the baby is born, so if a drop is scheduled for month three, it could be even more appreciated than a drop in month one.
Chip In For Something Big 
A crib is always a safe group gift idea. It's an across the board necessity and usually too expensive for one person to get on their own. But an unexpected and extremely welcome option is to chip in on a nanny, babysitter, or housekeeper. As much as you can all afford to stockpile is fine. New moms find themselves constantly maxed out and exhausted. Any extra help will be a huge deal to her.
Swaddle Blankets 
I was recently visiting a friend and her newborn when I noticed a beautiful new scarf on practically every surface of their apartment. Soon I learned they weren't scarves at all, they were swaddle blankets. And boy did they come in handy. She used one to set her baby down on while we chatted, and she wrapped him up like a burrito in another when it was time for his nap. What makes a good gift for the baby now is also a good gift for mom down the road!
Bath Products 
Another baby gift that could double as one for mom too is bath products. I got my sister-in-law a mommy and baby bubble bath set when my niece was first born, and when I was back a few days later the bottle was gone. Babies need lots of baths and moms need lots of baths so that they can relax. Look for bath products that are organic, made for babies of course, and in soothing scents like lavender, mint, and chamomile. This way, mom can feel good knowing that what's on her skin is safe for the baby that will be cuddling up to her.
So, next time you get invited to a baby shower, squash the urge to get gummy fetuses or baby high heels (I kid you not!) and choose something from this list instead. The mom-to-be in your life will be eternally grateful.

web site is: dileksbabyshower.com

Let me start off by saying, "I love a party." I do. Weddings? You bet I'll be on your dance floor. A holiday soiree? Count me in. For goodness sake, I even love kids' birthdays parties (that start after 11 a.m. and involve booze). So you better believe if you're sending me an invite to your baby shower I am totally in. I want to celebrate you AND that beautiful creature you are about to bring into this world. But here is what I don't want to do. I love you, I really do, but I do not, unfortunately, want to watch you open one more gift in front of me.
I'm not sure where this whole shower tradition began but, the truth is... it's got to end. And not just because the whole thing gives me a knot in my stomach. Sure, your dear Aunt Jean may want to see every itty bitty yellow sock that you pull out of beautifully wrapped box and make you a ribbon hat. But the majority of us don't want to have to whisper our conversations for the next hour or say "aw" for the 100th time. Even if everything really is that cute. Because it is! But it's exhausting. For you too! Especially for you. I can tell you from experience. And when you get a gift that actually isn't cute after the 25th gift opening? Let me tell you, it gets harder and harder to feign excitement. And the last thing you want to do is offend grandma. So save yourself the grief and opt out of opening gifts at your baby shower.
I know, I know, some of you will say: "Well, that's rude not to open gifts that your guests bought you!" To that I say: "Hold up." Gifts should be given selflessly, and the mama-to-be does not owe a pressured and showy "ooh or aah" to anyone. What she does owe is a gracious thank you, quality time spent with each guest and, of course, a lovely thank you note.
Here are five ways to Just Say No to traditional gift opening at your baby shower.

1. Go Eco. Ask friends and family to bring gifts unwrapped with a gift tag or card saying who the gift is from and display them on a table for all to see.
2. Request Direct Shipping. One of the biggest obstacles about your kind guests bringing you gifts to a party at all is getting all of those wonderful gifts home. Request for guests to ship gifts directly to you.
3. Make it easy. Saving up for your Pinterest-worthy nursery is no easy task, so in lieu of physical gifts, include your guests on your dream nursery design by setting up a cash gift fund for guests to add to! They'll love seeing you post photos on Facebook knowing they added to the cuteness.
4. Be Clear. OK, OK, your cousin reeeaallly wants to do that ribbon game at your shower. Ask guests to wrap your gifts in cellophane and tie them up with a bow. It will give your guests one more reason to walk by the gift table to ooh and aah.
5. Graze. Still feel bad about not opening gifts in front of everyone? Do it one by one. Give guests the option throughout the shower. Chances are not everyone will opt for you opening it in front of them so you'll be able to give your loved ones who say yes to opening the gift the attention and thank you they're looking for.

web site is: dileksbabyshower.com

Dear Co-workers,

It is now acceptable to have a baby shower for a second or even third child, even if they are the same gender. Every baby can be celebrated, and it's a great opportunity to get together with family and friends.
However, the family having the baby should not be the initiator. No one should ever host a baby shower for themselves or ask anyone else to, for that matter. If a friend offers to host a baby shower for you, regardless of how many children you have, you have the choice of accepting or declining. Most people enjoy having a shower for a second baby because there are always new and improved products and gadgets to make the parent's life a bit easier or more fun. Also, if the babies are more than a few years far apart in age, parents don't always have all the necessary equipment.
If you truly feel you have everything you need, simply tell the friend offering to host how much you appreciate the thought, but you feel uncomfortable having a baby shower when you don't need anything. Of course, some like to throw surprise showers, so in that case you don't really get a choice.
Should the family expect gifts when having a second child?
Like a wedding invitation, a baby shower invitation does carry the obligation of a gift. After all, that is the purpose of the event, to shower the mother-to-be with gifts. So if a baby shower is held, it's safe to say gifts will be expected. Unlike a wedding invitation, if you don't attend the shower, there is no obligation to send a gift.
As for general baby gifts after the baby is born, no one should ever expect gifts, but when babies arrive, most people like to welcome them with a gift. Whether you choose to give a baby gift for the second child or not really depends on your relationship with the parents. If you are very close, a baby gift is usually a good idea, but never mandatory.
If you are planning a shower for a friend or colleague that already has a child you may want to consider inviting guests that did not attend a previous shower or making the celebration a bit less traditional.

1. Make it a family event and invite spouses and kids.
2. Host a "Sip & See" after the baby is born, inviting friends over to see the baby.

Baby shower etiquette is basically the same for each child.

1. The expectant parents do not host.
2. It's fine to have more than one shower with different groups of friends, e.g. co-workers and personal friends.
3. Registry information should not be printed on the invitation, but can be enclosed in a separate card.
4. If you attend a baby shower, you should bring a gift.
5. If you don't attend you do not need to send a gift, but may if you wish.
6. Hand-written thank you notes should be sent as soon as possible, even if the gift-giver was thanked at the shower.

For more details and an expanded list, see our blog posts Baby Shower Etiquetteand Who Traditionally Throws a Baby Shower?
web site is: dileksbabyshower.com

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